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Hidalgo County Herald
Lordsburg, New Mexico
September 17, 2010     Hidalgo County Herald
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September 17, 2010

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HIDALGO COUNTY HERALD FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2010. 9 Just A Thought Is it an expectation or an app= By RiCK KRAFT What is it you that expect from me? What can I expect from ygu? A couple of questions that cut to theheart of the attitude we carry about. Are you letting your expecta- tions keep you from ap- preciating what you need to be grateful for? Even before we get out of bed each morn- ing, our day ahead is packed with expecta- tions. We expect the sun to rise. We expect water to come out of our shower. We expect the electricity in our home to work so we can make a hot cup of cof- fee. We expect otir car to start when we turn the key. We expect other drivers to stop when their light is red. We expect those we work with to show up. The ex- pectations continue on and on and on. Expectations can provide stability in our lives. Expectations can also kill a relationship. What you expect in this world from relationships will de- termine whether or not you are happy in the life you live. My wife Stamer Rick Kraft completes Basic Training Submitted by HOMETOWN NEWS Navy Seaman Recruit Marjorie A. Stamer, daughter of Suzanne M. and Scott M. Stamer of Rodeo, N: M., recently com- pleted U.S. Navy basic training at Recruit Training Command, Great Lakes, I11. During the eight-week pro- gram, Stamer completed a vari- ety of training which included classroom study and practical in- s'truction on naval customs, first aid, firefighting, water safety and survival, and shipboard and air- craft safety. An'emphasis was also placed on physical fitness. The capstone event of boot camp is "Battle Stations"..This exercise gives recruits the skills and confidence they need to suc- ziauon? grew up with her fathbr often say- ing "He who expects nothing will' never be disappointed." A definition of "expecta- tion" that I like is "In the case of uncertainty, expecta- tion is what is consid- ered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centered on the future, may or may not be real- istic. A less advanta- geous result gives rise to the emotion of dis- appointment. If some- thing happens that is not at all expected it is a surprise. An expectation about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order." A key element of this defini- tion that I want to focus on is "a less 'advantageous result gives rise to disappointment." So how can expectations kill a relationship? Let's talk about expectations in the marriage arena. How you answer the ques- tion from your spouse "What do I owe you?" veill determine whether or not you have a happy marriage. Let me explain. If we look at expectations as the "zero" mark, then meeting your expec- tations equals zero. Anything your spouse does that doesn't meet your expecta- tion leads to disappointment. Anything your spouse does above and beyond your ekpecta- tions will likely be appreciated. When you were at the altar and you said "I do," what did that mean? It is easy for one spouse to say to another, when Y__Q_U_ said "I do" O.CQ_O_ promised me that y_9_u. would...(fil] in the blank). This statement clearly imposes an ex- pectation on the other spouse. What this means is if your spouse performs to the level of your ex- pectations, you will take him or her for granted. He or she is only doing what he or she has a duty to do. Let me apply this to some examples. A husband says "When you said "I do" you promised me you would cook good meals for me and keep my house clean" Or a wife says "When you said "I do" you promised to work a full time spouse is disappointed and gets angry that his or her expectations are not met. The other interesting result of this concept is that if the ac- tions are in the negative range, they are not appreciated. For ex- ample, if a husband expects his wife to have dinner on the table each day when he gets home, if it is on the table, he is not grateful. If iLis not on the table then.he is upset.. The fact that it is an expecta- tion keeps it from being appreci- ated. If there was no expectation for the dinner to be on the table, the husband would be grateful and hopefully share his grateful- ness with his wife for her having dinner ready when he gets home. An expectation can be like a debt. It can be unhealthy as it cre- ates an indebtedness that needs to be paid. Anytime one spouge says to the other "You owe me..." he or she is relating to the other as if a debt is Owed by him or her. These three words alone can kill a relationship. This concept of expectations being a zero mark applies to all faucets of our life. It applies to parenting to our employment, to our friendships, and to our rela- tionship with others in organiza- tions we belong to. Expectations can lead to se- curity. They can also destroy re- lationships or result in a person carrying around a poor attitpde. " There are many people in the world right now whose lives are in shambles because theiPexpec- tations have not been met. My challenge to you is to try to turn expectations into grate- fulness. Try to be grateful to oth- ers even when they are meeting your expectations. Ha,e an atti tude of gratitude. In a close rela- tionship, try to lower your expec- tations of the other and exceed what they expect of you. Lower your zero mark. It will lead to a healthief relationship. Just a thought... Rick Kraft is a motivational speaker, a published author, and an attorney. To submit comments, contributions, or ideas, e-mail to rkraft @ krafta ndh unte r. corn mailto :lhekraftlawfirm @ aol. com or write to P.O. Box 850, Roswell, New Mexico, 88202 - 0850. A Picture From The Past Submitted by EDMUND SAUCEDOILordsburg Photo courtesy ROBERTA K.'SERFACE One of many historic photos in Roberta Serface's new book, The Forgotten Highway, the Broadway of America. Left to right: Manuel CSqueekie") De La Garza; Sheriff John Calvin; Charles Connor; Ernest Short holding a young Betsy Smith; Betty Smith (Lazar); and Frank Weworka standing in front of the Lordsburg Cafe and Coffee Shop (now known as The Whistle Stop) on Railroad Avenue (now known as Motel Drive), Lordsburg, early 1940s. Railroad Avenue was also known as Highway 80 and was part of the Broadway of America highway. Ms. Serface held a book signing on Saturday, Sept. 11, at the historic Jeffus house on the corner of 6th and Main Streets. The late George and Pauline Jeffus, original owners of the house, were Ms. Serface's grandparents. To obtain copies of her book, contact her at. (928) 254-9652, or visit Letters to the Editor The Hidalgo County Her- aid urges readers to voice their opin- ions by writing in. " ' Letters can be mailed to 212 E. Motel Drive, Ste. B, or can be e-mailed to Only let- ters that are signed by the au- thor will be considered for publication. All letters that are published should be consid- ered the opinion of the author, and not necessarily that of the Hidalgo County "Herald. Read- ers are encouraged to pCactice their First Amendment right of free speech. Wrong picture Dear Editor: Wait! What the hell is the matter with this picture'? Con- gress messing with some ball player and this country is going to hell in'a hand basket! I don't know about you folks, but I think congress should keep their clammy noses Out of sports. These so called rats that claim to be your representatives should be impeached. Why? Not one of the so called congressmen or women is without guilt of some kind and they are passing judgment on a ball player. Give me a break, rats: And we keep putting them back in office,, why? Clean house, NOW! Get rid of all of them. Maybe some dog catcher will take their place and do a better job. One thing about it, they sure as hell couldn't do worse. Sorry, if I insulted the dog catcher or a rat. What I was going to say is folks, call your congressman and advise him to kill the wilderness area over by Las Cruces. If they pass that crap it's another 3 or 4 thousand acres no one but the Enviro's will ever get to see. That area has been open to all people, now it will be closed if they have their way. Oh yeah,'t it strange that your President all of a sudden re- members we have a Constitution Great Church and built a mosque on the ruins. Hum. Maybe that's the aim here. All of a sudden, no separation of Church and State. Your money is being used to re- build mosques in many places. Millions 0f tax payers money HuH! What is this, the govern- ment is using United States Tax- payer dollars to build and repair mosques in other countries. Why? That's wrong folks and I don't care who the president is! Back to public lands and pri- vate lands being put into these enviro type wilderness areas. People wake up, call your so called representatives and tell them not one more acre of land in wilderness, not one more acre of land bought for the Federal gov- ernment NONE! Understand. Show me in the Con- stitution that .the government takes over more and more land every year. Why? Enough is enough. Tell them to take the clause out of a law that allows these enviro nuts to get rich by suing the BLM and Service, and get rid of the endangered species ceed in the fleet. "Battle Stations" is designed to galvanize the ba- sic warrior attributes of sacrifice, dedication, teamwork and endur- ance in each recruit through the practical application Of basic Navy skills and the core values of Honor, Courage and Commit- ment. Its distinctly "Navy" fla- vor was designed to take into ac- count what it means to be a Sailor. Stamer is a 2009 graduate of Omaha Benson High School of job and provide finareially for- our family." What this means is that if the wife cooks meals and cleans house or if the husband works a 40 hour week, he and she get back to zero with their spouse. The fact that these duties are expected pushes him and her below zero and if they. are performed then he or she gets back to zero. If they aren't performed, we are in a "negative" category and the other To everyone for the prayerJ, eallJ, cardJ, food, and dona(ionJ for me followln my recent accldenL Your encouraemen! haJ helped ne through a difficul! time. May God hie. you all. TereJo J!odela and starts spouting it. After all he has tried to shove down people's throats he finally re- members the Constitution! Only for a Mosque though. They do have a right to build the thing but please, some place else not in the area they want too. That's the problem, and then they are call- ing it the Cordova project. What's that? Well, Cordova Spain fell to the Muslims in the 1700's. They destroyed Spain's act. That allows enviro's to stop harvesting lumber, (they'll let it burn) curtail mining, (they don't want any) and it has been the rea- son for thousands of cattle being removed from ranches, also it's all tied into the United Nations Projects. We were a sovereign Nation and it's; time to take it back. Now I thank God for the wonderful Troops and Country. God Bless Gene Chadborn Animas, NM Omaha, Neb. I NAz, I II MAV.IiRICK calls'visits'cards"lmers'tnonetdnationSl I I BmRTH I mther'vCZlllmas'reatl'ap'reciated''Pecia' ' chris, Johnny, uic00ael, t 0 U.N G E 0,., thanks to errazas ,.uneral ,7lome, astor " l I Mark y0uicalendars t .. _ I nez,i,kartinez, I ] Lve"M_mEOad.' :' ] I for the .... _ --- . ii! I1 i ,.odriguez,qndl'Saiz] . and rankie &macho r. . , Saturday, Oct, n u i llll llll m u lllll Illl 1 U I n llll Open 7 Days a Week! 604 E. Motel Drive 6 AM - 8.30 PM Now Accepting  Lordsbu NM Credit Cards  575-542-8989 00hank "00ou. he amil o[ Crnesto aco opez mould like to sa thank ou to all who bouoht and sold rallh tickets,  big thanks to mt cousin, 'Oictor iaz, and my brother,, d opez, [or makin  this happen. ,t mas a great success. Jtay flod bless you all. '(,hanks aain, rnesto aco .opez .alana opez, acob opez, .qnthony opez & ,qhxis opez $0 down Free Installation It's AWhole New Way to Get WildBlue[ High-speed [nternet just 9ot even easier to get outside the city.  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