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HIDALGO COUNTY HERALD
FRIDAY, JULY26, 2013 9
"As I Remember" by Allen "Hook" Hill
Editor's Note: Long-
time Lordsburg resi-
dent, historian, story-
teller and poet Allen
"Hook" Hill has writ-
ten hundreds of stories
and poems. Back in the
1980s. he began writing
a column entitled "As I
Remember." With his
permission, these col-
umns have been dusted
off and will appear in
the Hidalgo County
Allen Hook Hill
who is 92, still lives
in Lordsburg. This
column appeared in
the Lordsburg Lib-
eral on September
13, 1991.
By ALLEN "HOOK"
• HILLILordsburg
Growing up
wasn't all roses. As
a matter of fact,
though we more of-
ten like to recall the
bright side, life was
Herald from time to time. Hook, and is about like the words of the
art of dying
Submitted by SlRI KHALSA/GRMC Hospice
How do you start the conversation? The conversation about
death...and dying. Because it can't be avoided: I will die, you will
die, all of us will come face to face with death at some point in our
lives.
I've been trying for a couple of years to talk to my children about
my eventual demise and they will have none of it. Their response is
'we had a hard enough time losing our dad, we are not ready to lose
you'. I don't want to have an argument. But I am ready to talk about
it, plan for it, and be prepared for it. I'm fortunate. I work in hospice
and my work has afforded me an intimate view of death and the dying
process.
Unfortunately our society has developed very negative connota-
tions about death; somehow it became 'scary' not 'sacred'; a 'lost
battle', not a 'life well and fully lived'. We're devoured by the 'jaws of
death instead of 'entering into the final sleep'. The 'Grim Reaper'
takes us. We 'lose' our life rather than having a 'strong finish'. It's
time to deal with the fear, because death is natural, it's inevitable. It's
ok.
And, help is available.
Hospice is not a new idea. Centuries ago they were places of
respite for travelers, wayfarer/care stations for the sick & injured. In
the last 50 years there has been a resurgence of the idea and today
hospice means 'care of the dying.'
As medical technology evolved, dying people were brought to
hospitals where they were inundated with medical procedures to keep
them alive....until the last possible moment. Then they were put in an
isolated corner of the hospital to die .... alone. The reliance on tech-
nology prevailed over the fact that people had been dying quite well
in their homes for hundreds of years. Today, hospice takes dying back
home.., or to specific hospice facilities.
Hospice care focuses on a patient and his/her family needs dur-
ing the final months/weeks/days/hours and minutes of life.., when
care has shifted to comfort, rather than curative treatment. Hospice
doesn't change the outcome; it simply works to normalize and ease
the situation for the patient and family. Palliative care, or comfort
care, is the methodology.
This 'comfort care' is provided by an interdisciplinary team con-
sisting of the patient's primary care provider, the team's medical di-
rector, registered nurses, licensed social workers, certified bereave-
ment counselors, ordained chaplains, and trained volunteers. Certi-
fied nursing assistants (CNAs) and paid-homemakers are also avail-
able to help the family. This team looks at each individual situation
and decides on appropriate 'plan of care' that emphasizes managing
any pain and discomfort, while creating an optimal (home) environ-
ment for care giving.
Hospice services are fully covered by Medicare, Medicaid and
most insurance plans. I work with Gila Regional Medical Center
(GRMC)'s Hospice Program which serves Grant, Hidalgo, and parts of
Catron Counties. GRMC is a regional, non-profit, sole provider hos,
pital striving to be 'patient-centered' as opposed to simply disease-
focused. ~
.~: ,'~Doctors are trained to keep people alive at all cost. That 'being
the operative pl~ase...at all cost. The medical community was cre-
ated to cure, fix, & do everything possible to keep people alive. This
can be a huge problem (and make dying very uncomfortable) when a
disease process goes beyond the curing stage...and it does. I believe
we have to learn how to look that fact in the face. Diseases can be
cured, they can go into remission...and that's worth fighting for. But
there comes a time for every single person on the planet when the end
of one's life arrives .... and this is where hospice is invaluable. Hos-
pice offers a raft to meet the turbulence of that time.
All the services available via hospice help facilitate this time of
life.., a time when we must shift our thinking, move into a different
place, open to another perspective...whatever it takes, to make peace
with the inevitableness of leaving this Earth.
The hospice process is straightforward. When a .referral comes to
our office (and most often these come from family or friends), a hos-
pice nurse will come to wherever the patient is to evaluate the situa-
tion. There are certain criteria in terms of disease diagnoses, etc that
must be met. Then your doctor must certify that, if the disease follows
its natural trajectory, you have approximately 6 months to live. (Be-
cause death rarely happens on cue, it has become common in hospice
to see patients live longer.)
The entire hospice team deals with the psychological and social
issues that can accompany the death process. Social workers help
find resources; volunteers offer respite and companionship; and chap-
lains are available to offer spiritual comfort. In my observation, and
in the trainings I give, the care and concern for the caregivers is as
necessary as managing the medications, or other medical aspects af-
flicting the patient.
There are still a lot of myths about hospice floating around -
myths that need dispelling so that more families can avail themselves
of these services when the time comes. One such myth is: Death is
the worst thing that can happen. The truth? There are many things
worse than death~ such as alienation from those we love; physical,
emotional & spiritual pain; abandonment by friends & family, the
fear of being a burden and the fear of being helpless...for example.
Another myth: My physician will let me know if my loved one is
dying. The truth? Over 90% of physicians have opted, at one time or
another, to NOT talk about dying to their patients AND over 50% of
physicians never do. This means that the burden rests with you to
learn what the end of life might look like and what options are avail-
able,
I hope you come to the conclusion that you and your family need
to have this conversation...the conversation about how you want to
die. Put your wishes down on paper...the plan can always be
changed.., sign, date and give a copy to your physician. If you don't
let people know what you want at the end of your life, things may
happen that you don't want.
Siri Khalsa lives in Silver City and works as Volunteer Coordi-
nator for Gila Regional Medical Center's Hospice Program.
New Inventory
Huge Selection/•
Lap • Belly Button • Eyebrow • Tongue • Ear • Nose
Silver Rings • Dangles • Logos *
• 14K
inside the Cottage
2i4 E. Hotel Drive * Lordsburg
575.542:8880
song that say, "I never promised
you a rose garden?'
Early on in my childhood,
about the second grade as I re-
member, our entire class experi-
enced a traumatic event that cast
a long-lasting shadow over my
life, a shadow that hasn't dimmed
very much even to this day.
In those times, about 1929,
there was not much defense
against the dreaded diseases that
are almost completely controlled
in the world today. When a per-
son contracted one of the poten-
tial killers, about all that could
be done was to put the person in
isolation and let the disease run
its course. If you lived, you lived.
If you died, you died. Plain and
simple.
Consider smallpox for in-
stance. I vaguely remember a
ranch somewhere close to town
where they confined people who
were stricken with that horrible
disease. Some passed on while
others made it through, but not
much thanks to medical treat-
ment. Those who lived carried
the telltale pockmarks on their
faces--mute evidence of their
frightful ordeal. Other diseases
were equally fearful, particularly
when qhildren were stricken.
Two of those killers hit our
family somewhere along there in
the late 1920s and the authori-
ties slapped us~in quarantine for
about a month and a half. If any-
one saw any of us even so much
as talk to a friend through the
fence, we had a deputy up there
wagging our tails with all kinds
of warnings. The first affliction
to hit was scarlet fever and it hung
the whole batch of us Hill kids
out to dry. There were a lot of
hallucinating days and nights
that weakened us nearly to the"
point of death. Looking back on
it, we feel lucky to be alive.
As it was, my brother, Cal,
ended up taking on the second
crippler, polio• (or spinal menin-
gitis, I can't remember which),
and he ended up the near loser.
He lost his ability to walk or even
stand and it was only after many
long and tedious sessions with a
chiropractor in Duncan, Arizona,
that he regained his muscle tone
and was able to walk again.
In spite of our ordeals, we
Were the fortunate ones. Many
people died. One of those who
died was my classmate and
therein lies the story, Many of us
in school took our turns at being
sick and out of school, bu~ I
clearly remember the day our
teacher informed us that one of
our classmates, whom I'll call
John, would not be returning be-
cause he had died. Naturally we
were sad, but we by no means
comprehended what death meant
. at the time. We were soon to be
educated.
A day or two after the news
of John's death, we were told that
our entire class would go to the
funeral. Funeral day arrived and
we went in a group to the services.
We were little more than seated
when the bereaved mother, bless
her heart, began sobbing hysteri-
Winners were Zachary Allen, Joseph Gonzales, Krissane Lopez, Rachelle Lopez, Kika Saucedo, Lisa
Gomez, Chilo Jacquez and Kevin George.
7th Annual Snake's Run held on, 4th of July
Courtesy submission traveled great distances. Thanks The results of
The 7'h Annual Snake's Run/ to Rene Saucedo for the drinks event were:
Walk washeld in Lordsburg on and to the City of Lordsburg for Women's Walk
July 4, 2013. allow the group to host the event lst--Kika Saucedo
Organizer Daniel Ramirez said at Shakespeare Cemetery. 2"d--Lisa Gomez
the turnout was a good one. "A Snake's Run is held every , Men's Walk
lot of family members did not year in memory of Ramirez' lst--Chilo Jacquez
make it," he added, "but we had brother, Jacob R. Lopez, Who 2"d--Kevin George
new runners and walkers so it passed away in 2007. All proceeds Women's 5k Run
turned out good." from the event go to the Jacob l't--Krissane Lopez
Ramirez and his family Lopez Scholarship fund, from 2"d--Rachelle Gomez
would like to thank Sammy which a scholarship is awarded Men's 5kRun
Contreras and D.J. Saucedo for annually at Lordsburg High Pt--Zackary Allen
helping with marking of the School graduation. The third 2hal--Joseph Gonzales
walk/run route. Also, thanks to all scholarship will be awarded next
participants, local and those who year, 2014.
this year's
Kick off of the event.
cally. She forced her way up to
the casket, took the boy's body
out and refused to relinquish it,
repeating over and over that her
child could not be dead.
At length she was restrained,
the boy's body was put back in
the casket and that part of the fu-
neral continued, but it was not
serene, in any sense of the word.
Later at the cemetery the
mother demanded that the casket
be opened so .she could see her
child one more time. It was fi-
nally opened, whereupon .the
mother again took the body Out
and held it while she sobbed un-
controllably.
My young heart bled for her
then, bled for her for many years,
and still bleeds for her when I
think of the occasion.
After what seemed forever to
young ears and eyes, someone fi-
nally took control, physically
held the grieving mother and
completed the burial, but the
scene has been unforgettable as
far as I am concerned. For many
years it was next to impossible
for me to attend a funeral. Even
n6w, after speaking for scores of
. funerals and attending many oth-
ers, I still occasionally hear the
sobbing voice of the mother who
knew firsthand that life, good as
it is, is not all roses.
Hook
hook june @ hotmail, com
Hidalgo County Heritage Society
Everyone who attended the event,
Save Our Building
Help Restore the [I •
Enrichment Center Buzzed. Busted. Broke.
for more iaformation call (575) 542-9716
or email hcheritagesociety@yahoo.com .... - :Get caught, andyou eoutd be paying around sl 0,000 in fines,