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Newspaper Archive of
Hidalgo County Herald
Lordsburg, New Mexico
September 4, 2015     Hidalgo County Herald
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September 4, 2015
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HIDALGO COUNTY HERALD FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2015 7 Just Thought Ending temptation before it begins By RICK KRAFT" I want to share with you to— day a message that I have put to- gether based on an article I read several years ago that appeared in “New Man Magazine,” a Chris— tian magazine for men. It was entitled, ,_ “Tell Your Daughter, Quit Tempting My Son” and was written by a pastor named Jody Vickery. It had an interesting premise that I think is worth exploring. The article is di- rected at fathers (and mothers) of junior While women are more apt to pro— cess data through emotions, men are more apt to process through the visual aspect. Boys, when they hit their teen years, begin this visual struggle for the first time. They need to learn how to handle the temptations that come along with the visual intake. Pastor Vickery ' writes about parents’ responsibility to teach their sons not to yield to physical temptations. He rec- ognizes the account- ability parents of high and high school RIckKrafl sons have in the girls written by a fa— courtship arena. It ther of teenage sons. Pastor takes two to tango. Yet then he Vickery wrote about how he was in a gathering of about 40 teen- age boys and a few adult chaper- ones talking about the tempta- tions they face in their adoles- cence with teenage girls. One of the boys timidly raised his hand and shared, “I’ll get this started. My problem is...well...I struggle with lust. I think about it all the time. I can’t help it.” With that the floodgates opened and one young man after another shared. The roots of his article came from a comment shared to the group by his son, “Sometimes, when we’re in the car and drive by a Hooters bill— board, I see my dad look at it out of the comer of his eye.” The author found himself, as a leader and a role model, in a difficult position. Pastor Vickery openly spoke about how it is dif— ficult for him to not linger his look when he drives by a Hooters bill- board. He shared that at age 40 he still struggled and how he had a friend who was 60 who also continues to struggle. His words to the young men were, “This one isn’t going away, guys. You’ll have to fight it from now on.” Any man reading this can attest to the fact that he is right. Regardless of age, men are very easily visually stimulated. The same trait that causes a man to look, then study a vintage car or motorcycle of his liking or a unique gun, results in a lingering look at an attractive female. Call today., 575-542-g takes a different direction with his comments. He asks the fathers and moth— ers of daughters to help him out. He writes, “I’m trying to raise my sons to respect women for who they are, not how they’re built. (If they get all excited about how a ’69 Chevy is put together, fine.) My job as a father of sons is to teach and model how a Christian man relates to women. That’s a tough task these days. You can’t drive down the road or stand in line at the grocery store without seeing women displayed like items on a buffet table. It seems you can’t type the words ‘Mother Teresa’ into a search engine with- out being given links to porno— graphic web sites. With many other fathers of sons, I’m swim- ming against the cultural tide. “But then, so are you. It oc— curred to me only recently, but that girl on the billboard (and in the magazines, movies and Web sites) is somebody’s daughter. I’ll bet you thought of that one years ago. I’m concerned about how my sons will treat women. You’re concerned about how your daughter will be treated. Will she be respected? Will she be hon- ored? Will she be treasured the way you treasure her? If she mar- ries one of my boys, I’m doing everything I can to make the an- swers to those questions ‘yes.’ “So here’s where I need your help. A day into that week—long youth event, another male chap- erone asked, ‘Is it just me or have little girls changed?’ I had noticed it, too. ‘I know what you mean,’ I said. ‘I don’t remember them looking so...grown up.’ “Every other 14-year-old girl looked like she’d just stepped off the cover of Cosmo magazine (and I’m not referring to their care- fully applied make-up). Their jeans appeared to be painted on. Their shirts accentuated every rise and fall. Honestly, you had to work not to notice cleavage. I had to remind myself that this was a Christian youth event, complete with what I thought was a rather strict dress code. It’s amazing how some girls can obey the letter of the law yet so creatively violate its spirit. No wonder the boys were struggling with impure thoughts.” Pastor Vickery doesn’t re- lease the parents of teenage boys from their responsibilities, yet he places a responsibility squarely on the shoulders of parents of teenage girls. Without stating it specifically, he is asking the ques- tion of parents of teenage girls, “How is it that your daughter got out your front door with that re- vealing outfit on?” or “Why is it that you allow your daughter to make overcoming temptation a more difficult challenge for my son?” Something to think about. My challenge today is to parents of teenagers, and parents of future teenagers. If you are rais— ing a boy, teach him restraint. If you are raising a girl, don’t allow your daughter to make it any more difficult on the boys than it is al— ready. As Pastor Vickery wrote, “I’m praying that when they see temptation coming, my boys will look the other way. I’m asking you to make sure that when they see your daughter in the church lobby or the school hallways, they won’t have to.” Just a thought... Rick Kraft is a motivational speaker, a published author, and an attorney. To submit comments, contributions, or ideas, e-mail to or write to RO. 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